We inherit what we did not choose… so, do we live what we truly deserve?
No one told us that motherhood doesn’t begin only with the birth of the child, but with a new birth of the woman herself; a moment in which the self unfolds—not through new features, but through what has long been deposited within her, an unconscious memory that starts to speak, not with words, but through behavior, emotions, and reactions.
Sometimes we think we start from scratch, but the truth is more complex. No one begins from a void. In moments of exhaustion, facing new roles, and recurring situations, the impact of the past appears hidden within the details of the present—not because it is in front of us, but because it resides within us.
This emergence does not indicate weakness, but rather the depth of the experience. As highlighted in a study titled “Differences in Whole-Brain White Matter According to Childhood Environments,” published in the scientific journal PNAS and based on data from over 9,000 children within the ABCD project, exposure to adverse childhood experiences such as poverty or family stress is associated with changes in the brain’s white matter structure. These changes subsequently affect emotional regulation and cognitive functions, especially during adolescence and new life roles, such as motherhood. The hope lies in the fact that supportive upbringing and stable environments have a strong impact in reducing potential harm.
She acknowledges fatigue, or by an emotion we cannot justify, we are often reenacting an old scene stuck in the unconscious—what is not understood is repeated. What remains unhealed is unconsciously passed down to those who come after us.
Femininity as shaped by the collective consciousness
In many environments, girls are raised with the idea that femininity is synonymous with shyness, sacrifice, and silence. From a young age, girls are taught that pleasing others defines their worth, and that raising their voice or expressing their desires is a sign of rebellion or “bad manners.”
Then, in a stark contradiction, the concept of femininity is sometimes reduced solely to outward appearance, In clothing or in the degree of attractiveness; as if femininity is a value measured visually, Not an inner essence shaped by balance and authenticity with oneself.
She acknowledges fatigue, or by an emotion we cannot justify, we are often reenacting an old scene stuck in the unconscious—what is not understood is repeated.
But this societal image has never been complete. Femininity is not a spectrum between submission and seduction, but a true presence of self. Conscious femininity is different: It acknowledges fatigue, gives herself the right to feel, and realizes she deserves as much as she gives. A femininity that doesn’t deny the self, but reconciles with it, and gives it what it needs.
Awareness isn’t a struggle… but a responsibility
Not everything we carry within us is a wound, but it’s also not complete healing. We are not just what we lived through, but also what we chose to understand. We are not victims of the past, but we are responsible for how we deal with it today.
Awareness isn’t about finding someone to blame, or pointing fingers, but about stopping the reproduction of what we’re unaware of. To be a different beginning, not a repetition of what came before. Just as we didn’t choose what was inherited to us, with some courage, we can choose not to pass it on as is.
The past isn’t in our hands, but this moment, is entirely ours and this is where real power for change begins.
